


Led By a Beating Heart

by Whoareyou0000



Category: Shadowhunters, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Daylighter Simon Lewis, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mundane Raphael Santiago, Not Simon or Raphael Though, POV Raphael Santiago, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Post-War, Raphael Santiago Has Feelings, Raphael Santiago Loves Simon Lewis, Simon Lewis Loves Raphael Santiago, Soft Raphael Santiago, Soft Simon Lewis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28320492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoareyou0000/pseuds/Whoareyou0000
Summary: They won the war on a Saturday and Raphael transformed into a mundane under the next sunrise. A year later, he struggles to live amongst the humans and misses those lost and left behind. Then, the strumming of a guitar leads him to his former fledgling and a second chance at love.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Led By a Beating Heart

When Raphael became human, he vowed to embrace the mundane. 

He took public transportation to work at the local library, ate turkey sandwiches out of paper bags with his coworkers, paid his bills, went to church, and read a few chapters of a book every evening. He even learned how to sleep during the night, a feat that took almost the first full year of his second humanity. 

Then there were the weekends, two days with no predetermined order or obligation. The other mundanes cherished those days; used them to see those they loved. Raphael had no one left to love, so every Saturday he threw on one of his jackets, stuffed his chilled hands into the pockets, and walked the city streets. 

Sometimes he headed to the East Village to watch the young people stumble from bar to bar. He could fit in with them, his outward youth both a blessing and curse. He had tried a time or two, gone on a few dates with other men that ended as blandly as they began. Friends presented an equally lost cause. Raphael could spend hours talking about history and politics, but his college-aged peers preferred to discuss pop culture and social media trends. For a former vampire who had fought in wars, both natural and supernatural, the shallow held little interest. 

So, he mostly watched them from afar like a scientist studying a new species. Then he padded home to an empty bed and remembered the nights at Dumort spent listening to the ramblings of a certain fledgling before everything fell apart.

This Saturday, though, Raphael chose a different path. This one led him towards Central Park. He passed the carousel, infested with screaming children, and meandered around the John Lennon memorial to admire the flowers. Then the wind awoke and pushed him forward. He followed it with a single crook of his eyebrow and a sniffle. A strong scent filled the air, one that he recognized immediately. A scent so inviting and sweet, like the first whiff of a birthday cake when the plastic cover comes off. 

He still hated celebrating birthdays, but the sugar reminded him that he once spent his nights in the company of another.

The familiar scent strengthened towards the middle of the park. That’s when Raphael’s ears alerted him to the uncoordinated plucking of an acoustic guitar. He stopped, squinted, and zeroed in on the combination of strumming and foot stomping. It brought a small, rare smile to his face. Then came a nervous laugh that sent Raphael’s newly reborn heart aflutter. 

Raphael froze in the center of the stone path and peered into a beautiful terrace covered in elegant tiles and held up by ornate stone pillars. There, just like a dream, he spotted familiar broad shoulders, messy chocolate locks, and the same black hooded sweatshirt from their days at Dumort. Converse sneakers pounded upon the pavement and joined a circle of three other young men in creating a melody of slaps, stomps, and strums. Then, a beautiful voice soared above the rest, magnified by the terrace’s acoustics. 

“Simon.” 

It’s said with a smile so foreign that it strained his cheeks. 

Raphael didn’t move at first, afraid that he’d spook the person he’d longed for every day since _that_ day. He simply closed his eyes and listened to the perfectly imperfect boy perform an upbeat melody with such joy that laughter framed his every word. His pitch varied and the stomping was not completely akin to a drum set, but every lyric contained a vitality so impossibly and lovably _Simon._

Raphael opened his eyes again to observe Simon swaying within the closed circle, his head moving from the ceiling to the ground as he became lost in the song. The former vampire’s face alit with a blooming smile that brought sunlight to the darkest of corners. It once enveloped him following his drunken stumble out of the closet and into open asexuality. It pulled him out of pits of despair on his darkest days. It spewed a confession of love as they parted for the last time following the battle. 

People began gathering at the mouth of the bridge, tourists and some teenagers out enjoying the beautiful weather. A pang hit Raphael at this intrusion. He held a hand over his vulnerable human gut and snarled at the faceless bodies blocking his access to his boy. 

Raphael may no longer be a vampire and Simon no longer a fledging confined to darkness, a trick played by the universe at its most devious, but Simon _does_ belong to Raphael. Suddenly, he’s certain of that fact and he never did learn how to share.

So, Raphael staked his claim. Long confident strides carried him up to the mouth of the terrace, hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. Simon’s voice peaked on the journey, carrying a note so strong that the crowd howled. Coins clinked into the plastic soda cup at the band’s feet. The other boys, all around Simon’s forever age, beamed. They paid no attention to the Latino boy who stopped just short of touching their singer. 

Simon made no move to acknowledge Raphael’s presence. 

The song ended, and the applause died down. Then, it hit. Simon gasped. The air between them electrified. Raphael’s living heart palpated pleasantly.

How extraordinary, the way mundane bodies just knew. 

Simon’s thick, hoarse voice punctuated the short silence as he swiped a shaky hand through his wayward hair.

“Um, I wrote this for an old friend.” 

With a nod from Simon, one of the other boys picked up the guitar and a rich ballad arose. The others stomped their feet and clapped their hands, setting the beat for their singer. When Simon joined in with the lyrics, it felt as if everyone else disappeared and just Raphael and his Baby remained together in that beautiful place.

Simon sang of loss, pain, and holding onto the one person who gave him the strength to live forever. He never turned around, never met Raphael’s eyes. Still, the former vampire knew, understood, that this was all for him. His human body perspired, his stomach knotted, and his heartbeat hammered in his ears like another instrument supporting Simon’s overpowering voice. Pressure mounted behind his eyes, something he hadn’t felt since the day the war took away so many of their friends. 

After it all, Raphael had walked away from one of the few survivors.

How idiotic he’d been. 

The song ended. The crowd faded back into existence. Many turned to their phones to review the performance they’d just recorded. Simon paid them no mind. He simply smiled, clapped his bandmate on the shoulder, and turned towards Raphael with eyes brimming with unshed tears. 

The former clan leader barely stepped forward before his former fledgling tackled him in a suffocating and altogether comforting hug. His pulse quickened at the contact and he carded his fingers through the soft mop of hair. “Raph…” Simon muffled into his shoulder. 

The human whispered the words that had grown cold and stale beneath his tongue. 

“I missed you, Baby.” 

“Ditto,” the daylighter choked. 

Raphael really and truly laughed, his whole body finally coming to life so long after his resurrection. Simon joined in with a snort against his leather shoulder. 

“So many big words in that song and ‘ditto’ is all you can say, _idiota?_ ” 

Simon smiled into Raphael’s jacket, now made better with his bloody tears.

“Shut up, Raph. I’m being adorably speechless here.”

Raphael sighed dramatically and Simon shook with laughter. 

“I even missed your sighs. I’m such a sap.” 

Raphael pulled back just enough to stare into those chestnut eyes, so soft and full of love. He pushed a stray hair across Simon’s temple. 

“Sí lo eres. That’s okay. My tolerance for sappiness has increased as a mundane.” Raphael’s fingers lingered on Simon’s t-shirt as he cast a glance at the rest of the band. They all turned their eyes away with a shared smile. “That song...you never cease to amaze me, little one.”

Simon blushed, a rare thing for a vampire, and nibbled on his bottom lip. 

“I, uh, wrote it after…you know. We’ve been practicing a lot, the guys and I, I mean. It’s just for fun, mostly, but it’s nice to do something normal.” 

Suddenly Simon’s face erupted in pure sunshine, and Raphael nearly turned around to see what has caused the boy to break out in an elated convulsion. 

“Hey, would you want to jump in? James brought a keyboard even though we don’t really have a keyboardist, which I realize now is completely ridiculous. Musicians are peculiar, especially non-human ones. Anyway, we could use one and having a former vampire around would work in my favor when we vote on after-gig grub.”

Raphael took in the rambling with an open mind and faced the three grinning boys, silently asking permission. The short, blonde kid gave a single nod, blinking his yellow werewolf eyes. A tall, lean redhead with a fiery mohawk snapped his fingers and triggered a brief spark of golden magic. The third man, presumably James, held up the keyboard in question and exposed a rune just beneath his shirt collar. 

For the first time in Raphael’s second life, a purpose tingled at his fingertips. He longed not just for the smoothness of ivory at his command, but for a community lost. Still, his steady pulse reminded him that he had no place in this world any longer. 

“I’m not so sure that I’ll fit in, baby.” 

“Um…the former leader for New York’s most elite vampire clan who just so happened to save the world?” Simon scoffed. “You’re a legend, Raph, and these guys have been hearing about you nonstop for months so it’d really help my cred if you could, you know, show them what a badass you are.” Then he turned those big puppy-dog eyes up and Raphael’s insides melted. “Please, please, please.”

The boy vibrated with excitement and warmth surged through Raphael’s body. Even as a vampire, Simon had always been able to make him feel human, feel alive. Now, standing beneath the beating sun, he thought that maybe, in Simon’s guiding hands, he could become superhuman too. 

“Dios mio!” He cupped Simon’s cheek, so refreshingly cold against his warm skin, and briefly touched their foreheads. “Okay, I’ll join your peculiar band on one condition. Do you have plans after your performance? If not, I would like to take you to dinner. I know a chef who does incredible things with blood.”

Simon’s eyes widened even more, if possible, and he gripped Raphael’s jacket lapels eagerly. 

“Yes, yes definitely. I mean, no I don’t have plans and, yes, I want to go to dinner with you. Tonight.” 

“Good.” Raphael clasped Simon’s wrists and held him in place, meeting his eyes for confirmation. “This is obviously a date, so don’t make me say it.” 

The resulting smile practically broke Simon’s face in half. “Oh, I’m taking that as a challenge!” 

That earned another eye roll and a reminder of how much he’d missed this boy. 

The daylighter dragged the mundane through the growing crowd and rattled off the names of each of his bandmates along with their life stories. Raphael accepted their handshakes, allowed Simon to gush, and finally gave his old self permission to merge with this new, human, version. 

Raphael’s heartbeat quickened when he touched the keys, and it thumped faster than ever when he met the lively eyes of the boy who’d been at his side through all the fighting and bloodshed. The one who'd held him, cared for him, during his transition when he could barely stop his tears long enough to breathe. The one who guided him into the sunlight.

Just like that, Raphael Santiago finally came back to life.

**Author's Note:**

> I found this in my unfinished folder and set it free. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! Comments are my favorite present. :) 
> 
> -The title comes from 'Laura Palmer' by Bastille. It is also the song Simon is singing when Raphael finds him in the park. The second song that Simon sings is 'Timeless' by The Airbourne Toxic Event.


End file.
